Me

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.  You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.  You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row. You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace. People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life. You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip. People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.

You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous. You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things. Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times.

You are loving, compassionate, and ruled by your feelings. You are able to be a foundation for other people... but you still know how to have fun. Sometimes your emotions weigh you down, but you generally feel free from them.

You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you. You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries. You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

Tired

tired of crying. tired of trying. tired of putting in effort to keep people in my life when they just don't want to be there. i shouldn't have to fight for a spot in anyone's life. why should i try so hard when i don't mean anything to them anymore? its not like i didn't try my best. it just kept failing to a point where i don't think i should try anymore. i'm trying too hard. tired. really exhausted. people are just too disappointing sometimes.

i'm sorry my friends. i'm very extremely sorry to those that care and got worried. i'm just not a very strong person. i thank you all for all you guys have done for me. i love all of you really. don't ever leave me please. thank you and sorry for making you all so worried and sleepless. i'm really sorry i owe you all everything i can offer to owe hahaha. thank you. really.

right now i'm so tired i don't even bother to think about all those things that are making me sad. i don't want to solve those problems anymore. they can just remain in a small corner of me until i find the strength to solve everything again. when those people want to.

i need an escape. i need a holiday, i need one very extremely badly. anyone on for a holiday? let's go tgt? :) call me ok hehehe or text me i want to go on a long holiday. like at least a week or smth.

beautiful ppl

Today.........its going to be a long, wordy post (again). This time its (possibly) going to be even longer than all my previous posts. I used to think blogging with a lot of words is actually kinda pointless because, hey, who's going to be so free to read that chunk of who-knows-what-you're-trying-to-say-crap-its-all-complaints-anyway right? Then I realise that I'm blogging for myself. To release all the pent-up frustration/stress/angst/whatever. If I even have readers, I thank each and every single one because I know y'all are my beloved friends! ♡

Firstly, friends. I'm so afraid of letting anyone in already. By that I don't mean another random dude that's going to capture my heart and break it in the end again, but just anyone that even wants to be my friend. All the people you love, will let you down. And vice versa, you will also be a letdown to the people you love in one way or another. I don't want to let down the people I love, neither do I want to be let down. So many things have been happening these days, I wonder when its ever going to end. I treasure each and every person I'm friends with, aquaintance or best bud. I cry a lot whenever I lose someone in my life. I don't know why I'm such a softie. I may be guilty of saying harsh things - so harsh they may ruin everything I ever have with that someone I was harsh to. But everytime after I say all that mean crap, I feel guilty and bad even if I wasn't so much in the wrong. No, I am not saying that I don't have faults at all, I do. 

Anyway, I just want to say that I am very thankful for the people who have stuck around since I knew you. Really. I appreciate each and every one of you a truckload I don't know what I did to deserve y'all. Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!!! ♡♡♡

Mengukur Eksistensi

 

Sejauh mana Anda eksis di dunia internet? Ini pertanyaan menggelitik namun grudgingly banyak blogger yang tertarik. Dan kini ada cara yang lumayan konyol namun menurut saya sahih juga.

Bukalah situs Google (anda gagal dalam eksistensi tahap dasar bila masih menanyakan URL). Google kini dilengkapi dengan instrumen "suggestion" yang akan memberikan beberapa alternatif bersamaan dengan Anda mengetik. Inilah barometer eksistensi.

Coba ketik nama Anda. Semakin eksis Anda, Google hanya membutuhkan sedikit mungkin karakter untuk menampilkan nama di barisan suggestion. Vice versa. Anda yang tidak ngetop butuh mengetikkan semua huruf yang ada di nama Anda.

Barack Obama butuh 5 huruf diketik (B-A-R-A-C) sebelum Google menampilkan suggestion yang tepat. Untuk itu ia patut iri kepada fenomena Bieber. Hanya mengetik J-U, Google telah mendapatkan Justin Bieber dalam kolom sugesti.

Dalam konteks lokal, Presiden SBY hanya butuh 4 huruf untuk memunculkan "Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono". Aktris Agnes Monica yang sejak lama ingin eksis internasional boleh berbangga. Cobalah ketik A-G, maka Agnes akan muncul bersamaan dengan Agni Pratistha dan Agung Podomoro. Ini jelas "mengalahkan" Anggun yang membutuhkan empat huruf sebelum ditampilkan Google.

Suggestion ini merupakan hasil rangkuman entry yang ada dikandung Google (alamat URL, situs dan sebagainya), ditambah dengan kecenderungan nama atau kata tersebut diketik di bar pencarian. Di satu masa, ketika heboh dengan videonya, Luna Maya bisa muncul bahkan ketika kita mengetik huruf L! Sekarang effort sedikit bertambah karena harus menambahkan U-N sebelum si cantik muncul.

Nah, kini cobalah mengukur eksistensi Anda. Saya sendiri membutuhkan 10 huruf sebelum nama "Akbar Fajri" muncul. Ya, itu semua huruf dan satu spasi! Rupanya saya tidak begitu beken di dunia maya.

Daddy Is Amazing

I like the idea of celebrating the Father's Day, even if there is no official Father's Day date in my country (Indonesia). We just celebrate the Mother's Day on December 22, and I'm not sure either why my country has no official date for Father's Day, but I just love the idea of honoring the man that gave us his legacy.

Even if, naturally a father is the provider in the family, I think it will be great if we say our gratitude and do something special for this special man. There was actually a declaration about Father's Day in Indonesia (November 12, 2006 in Solo-Central Java and Flores-East Nusa Tenggara), but still, there are many Indonesian people don't know about this. (It's kind of weird isn't it? haha) And so many date on international declaration about father's day. And one of is today, 19th June.

But anyway, Father's Day has been so popular in Asia too, and many Asian countries celebrating the Father's Day with the same way as Western countries. Evidence of days or festivals celebrating fathers can be found as far back as 4,000 years ago. However, it is widely acknowledged that the efforts of a Ms. Sonora Dodd were what led to the eventual creation- in 1972- of the formal holiday as it is known today.

More than himself, a Father would like his children have more opportunities, face just a few difficulties, more independent and (but) always need his presence. Daddy only ask you to do the work you like. Daddy let you win the game when you were young, but he won't let you win when you're grown up. Daddy won't be in the family album because he took the pictures. Daddy always keep his promise. He will keep his promise to help a friend, though your invitation to go fishing actually is more interesting . Daddy will always set your electric train toys for years, though you have been bored, because he still want you to play the train. Daddy will a little bit sad when his children play with their friends. He realize that it's the end of their childhood. Daddy start to plan your life when he knew that your mom is pregnant (you), but at the time you were born, he started to make revision.

Daddy will help you to make your dream come true and he can assure you to do impossible things, like floating on the water after he release you. Daddy perhaps does not know the answer of everything, but he helps you find it. Daddy perhaps looks fierce in your eye, but in your friend's eyes he looks funny and care.

Daddy is hard to face his gray hair..so he blamed his barber of cutting to much hair of him. Daddy will always love to help you do your homework, unless the newest math homework. Daddy is slow to have friend, but he is friend for life. Daddy is really love to help someone..but he hardly asked for help. Daddy always postpone to bring the car to the workshop, because he thinks he could fix it himself. Daddy is in the kitchen. He thinks cook is like science discovery. He has his own formula and only him will understand how to explain the complicated equation. And the result ? mmmh not bad. He will boast that only him who's able to cook the fusion dishes, like sushi and wienerschnitzel mix with potato salad. Daddy may never touch broom when he was young, but he could learn fast. Daddy will really love if the whole family eat dinner together though the electricity went off. Daddy will know the most how to pull the swing high enough to make you happy but not afraid. Daddy will give you the best seat, put you on his shoulder when the parade started.

Daddy will not spoil you when you're sick, but he won't sleep for the night. In case you need him. Daddy think you should independent, so he won't tell you what you have to do, but he will express his disagree.

Daddy believe that you should on time that's why he always wait for you with his old car, to take you on your first day to school. Daddy is generous..he will forget what he wants, so that he could give you what you needed.  Daddy let your scarecrow wears his sweater. Daddy will buy you lollipop that you ask, and eat it if you don't like. Daddy will stop everything that he worked on, if you like to talk..

Daddy always think and work hard to pay your tuition fee, though you never help count his wringkles Even he will love to hear your advice to stop his smoking habit. Daddy will lift your burden from your shoulder with his hands around the burden. Daddy will said "Ask your mom" when he liked to say "no". Daddy was never angry, but his face will be red-faced when his daughter was staying at a friend's house without permission. And he almost never angry, except when he found his son smoking in the bathroom.


Dad says "it's okay to take a little risk only you have to prepare lose what you expect."  The best compliment for daddy was when he saw you do something just like his way .... Daddy is more proud of your accomplishments, rather than his own accomplishments ... Daddy just will shake your hand the first time you left the house, because if he hugged you it probably never be released. Daddy thought a hundred is a tip ..; Thousand is allowance ..; Your first salary is too big for him.


Daddy does not like to shed a tear .... when you were born, and he heard you crying for the first time, he was very pleased until the tear out of his eyes (ssst.. but again this is not crying). When you were little, he can hold you to expel your fear when you dream ... to be killed the monster ... but ..... he was able to cry and could not sleep through the night, when his favorite daughter in the foreign country does not give the news for nearly a month.

I think my daddy once said: "If you want to get a sharp sword and a high quality, do not look it in the market much less from flea market, but come and order directly from the good iron. As well as with love and friends in your life, if you want to find true love someday, then asked for and order to Him that created them "

For his son future, daddy told his son: "Be strong and tougher than me, choose a mother for your future children a better woman than your mother, give a better for daughter in law and my grandchildren, than what have I give to you"

For his daughter future, daddy told his daughter: "Do not wimp though you're a woman, be my little angel and is always the best angel to the father of your children someday! A man who can protect you more than me, but never replace my position in your heart."

Daddy insisted, that your children will have to be better than you used to ....

Daddy can make you believe in yourself ... because he believes in you ...

Daddy did not try to be the best, but he's just trying to do the best ....

And most important is ... Daddy never stop you to love God, even he would spread a thousand roads so you can reach His love, because he loves you because of His love.

Dedicated to all daddy in the world.

Chocolate Factory Experience

Alkisah Charlie Bucket, seorang anak lugu dan sederhana dari keluarga yang secara memprihatinkan sederhana pula. Tinggal disebuah gubug reyot di pinggir kota yang terkenal dengan pabrik coklat terbesar di dunia-nya. Pabrik yang dulunya menjadi generator penduduk untuk bermukim di sekitar dengan sebagian besar mata pencaharian bergantung pada kelangsungan industri cokelat tersebut. Suatu saat, si pemilik pabrik yang eksentrik, Willy Wonka memutuskan untuk mem-PHK semua pekerja di pabrik tersebut, dan secara misterius menjalankan pabrik-nya seorang diri. Hal ini menjadi misteri terbesar bagi semua orang.

Sementara dalam pandangan lugu Charlie, pabrik cokelat adalah "dunia fantasi". Suatu negeri yang penuh dengan makanan kegemarannya itu. Dalam jumlah banyak dan gratis yang mampu ia konsumsi. Bagaimana mungkin sebuah bangunan bisa menjalankan roda fantasi bagi berjuta-juta anak-anak. Ada apakah di dalamnya?

Impian Charlie tersebut mungkin sama dengan imajinasi masa kecil kita dahulu. Gw pernah mempunyai "mimpi" tentang mall. Seperti "dunia fantasi"-kah jika kita terjebak di dalam mall yang penuh dengan mainan-mainan sepanjang malam sampai pagi. Dengan gratis kita memilih, menjalankan, bermain sepuas hati. Dunia tak berbatas yang sesuai dengan impian kita.

Demikian Tim Burton yang memang ahli dalam "menerjemahkan" alam mimpi menyusun konsep untuk film Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, yang aslinya dikarang oleh Roald Dahl sebagai karya sastra untuk anak-anak yang sarat dengan pesan moral. Burton tidak memberikan fokus kepada si eksentrik Willy Wonka seperti film pendahulunya (Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory) melainkan (lagi-lagi) setting luar biasa, gaya Inggris-industrial (gothic atmosphere), gridded city, gubug reyot dalam arti sebenarnya, atau sungai "coklat" yang nampak seperti sungai citaum yang lagi banjir, tetapi dalam citarasa yang nikmat. Burton menghadirkan realita dari fantasi Charlie Bucket tentang dunia fantasi-nya.

Satu hal gw suka banget adalah apresiasi Burton terhadap film "A 2001 Space Odyssey" karya Kubrick. Film lawas yang fenomenal itu menjadi scene sendiri dalam adegan (spoiler alert) Mike Teevee tersedot dalam teleport. Blackbox yang ada di Space Odyssey pada awalnya berubah menjadi sekotak Wonka's Chocolate. Hehehehe, lengkap dengan musik dan suasana "putih"-nya. Dalam interkoneksi, dua film ini menjadi suatu bentuk manifestasi imajinasi. Space Odyssey merupakan imajinasi futuristik dari futurolog Arthur C Clarke, sementara Charlie and the Chocolate Factory adalah hasil "teleportasi" Burton ke dalam otak seorang anak bernama Charlie Bucket yang menjadi simbol kesederhanaan anak-anak oleh pengarang buku-nya, Roald Dahl.

Satu lagi, quote yang brilian adalah ketika si kakek skeptis menganjurkan Charlie untuk "experience" Golden Ticket-nya ketimbang dituker dengan sejumlah duit (yang emang dibutuhkan oleh keluarganya. "Uang itu akan terus dicetak, dan kamu tidak bakal kehilangannya. Sementara pengalaman itu datangnya sekali dalam seumur hidup, apa kamu akan menghilangkannya?". It's time to give our life meanings

Good Movie?

Not so long ago, one of my bestfriend said: "...Constantine (Frank Lawrence) tuh film yang perfek banget! Ngga ada cacat-nya sama sekali...". Quite shocking am I? Yup I agree kalo Constantine emang film yang entertaining. Tapi ketika kita memberikan suatu komentar apresiasi, doesn't it bit too naive to said so...Constantine adalah film dengan banyak cacat menurut gue. Especially karakter utama-nya, John Constantine, yang amat sangat terribly miscast by Keanu Reeves. I'm a comic book fans, jadi ekpektasi gue adalah John Constantine as tough as John McClane di trilogi Die Hard, atau Tyler Durden-nya Fight Club (David Fincher). They're really bad as mothe'fucker...kata orang sono. Sementara cast Keanu sangat "kalem" dan kata temen gue cool-nya sok sok Matrix gitu...maksutnya mungkin cool yang cuek tapi ngga bandel. Indeed gue setuju kalo blunder terbesar dari film Constantine adalah jatuhnya cast John Constantine ke tangan Keanu. Selain itu ada juga beberapa screenplay yang monoton (seperti misalnya adegan zombie-like) khas horror Hollywood beserta music score-nya. Pfuih, to me it's a far from perfect movie!


But, soal selera emang berbeda-beda. I agree. Constantine bisa dibilang menarik karena memang konflik dan dasar ceritanya udah menarik. You know what? The worst film I've ever seen...Batman and Robin (Joel Schumacher)...itu masih enak juga ditonton karena emang dasarnya menarik. Tapi sebagai movie fans yang mencermati banyak hal dari film, Batman and Robin adalah scumbag yang even ngga layak ada di antara Batman dan Batman Returns-nya Tim Burton sebagai prekuel. Bahkan masih jauh mendingan Batman Forever-nya Joel Schumacher sebelumnya. However, daya tariknya emang ada di: "...it's Batman.."-nya. Like or dislike, sang Ksatria Kegelapan bakal narik box office. Troy juga quit pro quo. Secara film menurut gue adalah film yang sangat jelek (despite for the set). Tapi karena temanya udah menarik, jadi whatever it might come tetep aja jadi film yang menarik untuk ditonton, tapi tidak untuk dimasukkan sebagai film yang bagus.


Film yang bagus bagi gue adalah film yang memiliki handicap untuk mewujudkan sebuah cerita yang mungkin biasa saja menjadi sesuatu yang menarik. In the Name of the Father (Jim Sheridan), Shawshank Redemption (Frank Darabont), The Godfather (Francis Ford Coppola), Lost in Translation (Sofia Coppola), Cidade de Deus (Alejandro Meirelles), Dead Man Walking (Tim Robbins) atau Mystic River (Clint Eastwood). Itu hanya beberapa contoh saja film yang menurut pendapat gue adalah film berkelas! Tema yang mereka ambil bukan tema yang populis. Not everyone like for being an Irish, lifer or death prison, atau bahkan orang yang berpikir dirinya "just being in a wrong place and at the wrong time". Tapi secara visual film-film tersebut mampu memberikan gambaran how does it feel to be like that, melalui permainan akting, sinematografi, alur dan penceritaan yang solid. Itu adalah film yang ngga semua orang bakal mampu ngerjain-nya. Cidade de Deus lebih dahsyat lagi, karena tema yang diangkat was EXTREMELY UNPOPULIST. Itu adalah film semi dokumenter tentang kekerasan di lingkungan kumuh sudut kota Rio de Janeiro. Masalahnya adalah sang sutradara, Meirelles, bisa membuat suatu visualisasi dahsyat gabungan antara sinematografi dan twisted plot untuk membuat penceritaan-nya ngga serboring kita dengerin Wardah Hafidz orasi. That's what I called brilliant.


Film Fight Club (Fincher) adalah film yang bagus (even menurut IMDB dan user comment-nya). Ceritanya memang sudah menarik, tetapi versi naskah-nya yang ditulis Chuck Palahniuk adalah naskah yang sarat atas filosofi-filosofi post-strukturalis yang berat dan "not visual friendly". Hebatnya, Fincher berhasail menyampaikan (at least menurut gue) tema "berat" tersebut nge-blur dalam satu jalinan cerita yang solid dan sinematografi yang mantap. Adegan memorable seperti ketika perabot Ikea dari si Narator (Edward Norton) muncul adalah refleksi dari kehebatan sinematografi untuk menyampaian pesan "consumers life" yang menjadi objek kritik film. Atau Pulp Fiction (Quentin Tarantino) yang selalu menjadikan setiap adegan sebagai media mengeluarkan statement si sutradara (dan pembuat naskah - Tarantino himself) dalam bentuk dialog-dialog yang ekstra panjang. Who cares about McD and Burger King in France anyway?! Tapi dengan cast yang pas (John Travolta dan Samuel L. Jackson) adegan itu jadi memorable dan menjadi fitur film yang sangat berkesan. That what I considered as a challenge.


Peter Jackson menyadari bahwa he's dealin with fire ketika menangani trilogi epik saga Lord of the Rings. Indeed, he need a bloody research mulai dari awal dekade 90-an untuk mewujudkan film hampir 10 tahun kemudian! It's a heavyweight composure dan terbayar dengan visualisasi brilian yang memberikan gambaran terpatri tentang Middle Earth Creature-nya Tolkien. Sama yang dilakukan Ridley Scott dalam Blade Runner tentang visi masa depan. They deal with a good script but they didn't ever think to spoil it. Dance With Wolves (Kevin Costner) juga membutuhkan riset untuk hadir dengan Siouxense speech-nya, just like the Elven language on Jackson's trilogy. It's not as easy untuk membuat satu film yang bagus meski kita sudah mempunyai bekal cerita yang bagus. Take a look at the Alamo, Alexander atau Hulk. Siapa yang mendebat bahwa saga benteng di Texas, ksatria penakluk dunia dan ikon komik Marvel itu adalah cerita yang bagus? But they didn't manage to visualize it well!


Anyway, I'm enjoying Constantine...dan relatif ketika dibilang itu adalah film yang bagus. I agree! It's a good adaptation from comic book to movie. Dan indeed selera orang memang berbeda. Tapi ketika dibilang Constantine it's a perfect movie? Well, gue cuman takut film-film grand kaya yang banyak gue sebut di atas ngga ada lagi. Film yang butuh pengorbanan ekstra untuk mewujudkannya dan disukai banyak orang. Film yang dibuat for the sake of art dan duit bukan segalanya. Gue sangat yakin bayaran dan keuntungan trilogi Lord of the Rings ngga bisa nge-cover semua proses mulai dari riset di awal 90-an sampai video release-nya. Tapi at least Peter Jackson udah bisa senyum lega karena dia menghasilkan mastrepiece yang bakal jadi ikon film di awal milenia. Seperti halnya George Lucas dengan Star Wars-nya. I'm pretty sure it will!